To get to here, you have to start there…

I previously linked to my friend Aria’s new post here.  I’d like to add some thoughts, observations, and conclusions of my own.

I discovered, over the past six months to a year, how much I dislike fighting.  Whether it was commenting somewhere or on my own blog, I felt the same disquiet fall over me like a cold fog.  I felt dirty.  Every time.

I’m not angry, or bitter.  Really.  I actually love who I am and the life I’ve created for myself and my spouse.  I’m at ease and content with my life.  Life has become a series of daily challenges, to be won or lost.  And, contrary to popular belief, this started before my surgeries, not after.

I’m tired of the old ways, of constantly defending myself from the onslaught of ridiculous accusations and slurs to my character, intelligence, and sanity.

I’m not on display for some man’s prurient interests, nor will I continue to respond to his overt or covert verbal violence.  If I’m not pretty enough or feminine enough, too fucking bad.  My spouse loves me just the way I am.

I didn’t “cut my balls off”, nor did I “mutilate my genitalia”.  I had corrective surgery.  It has nothing to do with you so get over it.

And I didn’t decide this in a drunken stupor, listening to country music, which I actually like.  This was decided for me before I was born.


If you’re looking for a fight, go elsewhere.  I refuse to play that anymore.  I will not respond, nor let others goad me into responding.

I will not go looking for fights and drama.  I’m done with that.

I will try to be a good example for others.  I will practice live and let live.  Everyone has the right to choose their own path.

I choose the path of least resistance.

This is going to be a great year!


6 comments so far

  1. leighspov on

    Really? Then why have you taken to bad mouthing me and implying I am some kind of drunk?

  2. lisalee18wheeler on

    Because you’re too stupid to even care about the damage you’ve helped wreak. And I wasn’t seeking out trouble, just resolving an issue.

  3. leighspov on

    Care to be specific … cos I am too stupid to read your mind!

  4. leighspov on

    Ah! .. so aria is closing her blog, and thats MY fault for maintaining a friendship with carolyn..?? That about it ?

    • lisalee18wheeler on


      You still don’t get it. Even in the sober light of day do you miss the forest for the trees. Her suspending her blog has absolutely nothing to do with you. Read her last post again, and again, and again. Maybe then you’ll get it. Or not.

  5. leighspov on

    I did .. and your right I must be stupid because I thought it to be WAY over reactionary, rambling, incoherant, and filled with boogy men.

    By the way, are you starting a new temperance league? All these references to my drunkeness and all? What drunkeness? I dont even go to the pub any more. Havn’t been there in months. Last time I had a drink was new years eve, at home, and 2 glasses.

    Whatever floats your boat lisa .. I wish you well.

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